1
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,500
Ah, Miss Prescott, I'll just go through
the final papers in the office.

2
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:32,520
As soon as the staff return from the
funeral, let me know. Will I show them

3
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,620
young Mr. Grace's office, Mr. Thorpe?
No, this will do very well. How many

4
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,519
there be?

5
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,380
Well, at the time of the closing down
sale, there were only the ladies and

6
00:00:40,380 --> 00:00:42,220
gentlemen ready to wear departments
left.

7
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,900
Ah, hateful servants.

8
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:48,940
A sad day, Miss Prescott. A sad day
indeed, sir. They're here, Miss

9
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,880
They're coming up in the private lift.

10
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,960
Oh, the dratted thing, it's stuck.

11
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,820
I think they could have mended it
properly by now.

12
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:04,080
Make the umbrella in the crack, Mr.
Humphreys.

13
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,680
Mr.

14
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,100
Thorpe, Mr.

15
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,400
Humphreys has arrived.

16
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:23,340
After you. After you, Mrs. Hercule. Oh,
thank you, Captain Peacock.

17
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,650
me leg up. Oh,

18
00:01:31,450 --> 00:01:35,530
Captain Peacock, would you be good
enough to get out and lend me a helping

19
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:36,750
Certainly.

20
00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:38,010
Thank you, Mr. Alfred.

21
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,010
Come on, now.

22
00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:43,250
We'll give you a bunk up from behind,
Mr. Sir.

23
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:46,090
I'll do my best.

24
00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:51,350
Thank you, Steve.

25
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:57,280
Oh, that lifts for ten years. on me. I
think he's put ten years on all of us.

26
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:02,460
Oh, there's young Mr.

27
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:07,340
Grace. Yes, it's hard to believe that
he's no longer with us. What a way to

28
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:11,060
scuba diving with his nurse in the
Caledonia.

29
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:15,200
Yes, according to her, his equipment,
although old -fashioned, was in perfect

30
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,200
working order.

31
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,860
He should have been with us had her
bikini top not popped off.

32
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,260
Oh, but it was a lovely funeral.

33
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:26,450
Yes, I've always been very moved by the
melody of I did it my way.

34
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:31,530
Personally, I think it was the closing
of the store that finished him off.

35
00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:34,930
Yeah. Anyway, they must have left us
something, because otherwise we wouldn't

36
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:35,789
all be here.

37
00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:39,470
Well, I understand that it's the pension
fund they want to discuss.

38
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:42,490
And after all, we have been paying into
it for a very long time.

39
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:44,210
Good afternoon, everybody.

40
00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:46,930
This is Mr Thorpe. Ah, good afternoon.

41
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:51,770
We haven't met, but I represent young Mr
Gracie's solicitor.

42
00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:54,250
Thorpe, Thorpe and Thorpe.

43
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:56,410
I am the junior partner.

44
00:02:57,550 --> 00:03:00,730
I can imagine old Mr. Thorpe doesn't get
about very much.

45
00:03:01,810 --> 00:03:04,570
If you all care to sit down.

46
00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:07,550
Are we all here?

47
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:08,970
Where's Mr. Rumble?

48
00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:10,850
Yes, he wasn't at the funeral.

49
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:14,950
He was engaged in other business
concerning the Grace Brothers estate.

50
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,490
He sends his regrets.

51
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:18,770
And there's still Miss Lovelock to come.

52
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:21,490
Oh, yes, so there is. Miss Lovelock.

53
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,900
Yes, she was the personal companion to
young Mr. Grace at the time of his

54
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,080
demise. Was she the one who... Yes.

55
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:33,800
And was it her top that... My paper
added Miss Prince. Said he was

56
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,800
scrappetising.

57
00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,420
Miss Lovelock.

58
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:42,240
Sorry I'm late. Had a ghastly night.

59
00:03:42,580 --> 00:03:43,800
Still got a hangover.

60
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,900
What paper was that, Miss Brown?

61
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:47,580
The Sun.

62
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:48,940
Truth at last.

63
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,030
Oh, do sit down, Miss Lovelock.

64
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,150
I'll just perch over here.

65
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:56,930
Stockings, then suspenders.

66
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:00,610
Tendinia, seamless.

67
00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:07,650
Now, if I may have your attention, we
are not concerned today with the bulk of

68
00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:11,570
young Mr Grace's fortune, which, as you
may know, was left to his favourite

69
00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:14,270
charity, the Home for Fallen Women.

70
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,610
I don't suppose he mentioned fallen men.

71
00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:21,209
I think Mr Thorpe would like to get on
with the business, if you don't mind.

72
00:04:21,510 --> 00:04:25,270
I expect you're all concerned as to what
happened to the pension fund.

73
00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:29,810
Your use of the past tense has already
sent a chill through my whole body.

74
00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:31,850
There's no need to worry.

75
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:37,480
It's all been wisely invested in a
multitude of enterprises, ranging from

76
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:43,400
Rangoon Gas Mantle Company to Portland
Whalebone Enterprises.

77
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:48,260
Sounds a bit old -fashioned to me. In
addition to that, quite a bit was

78
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:49,900
in bricks and mortar.

79
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,880
As a pile or in a building?

80
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,880
Mr. Grace, on behalf of the fund,
acquired a Tudor manor house.

81
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,760
Oh, goody, we can flog that.

82
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:00,959
a lolly.

83
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,220
Unfortunately, it cannot be sold. It is
in trust to the pension fund.

84
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,280
On the other hand, it is in itself a
money -making proposition.

85
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:13,800
And the beneficiaries may use it in any
manner in which they see fit.

86
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,560
What was that about, fisheries?

87
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:21,120
Beneficiaries. You are the
beneficiaries, as you all stayed at your

88
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:21,799
the end.

89
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,180
Does that include Miss Lovelock? Of
course.

90
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,880
I bet she stayed at the bedpost till the
end.

91
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,700
It was surely that wasn't the only
property that young Mr. Grace owned.

92
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,620
I mean, he had lots of houses.

93
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,040
You're absolutely right.

94
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,300
Several times he promised to give me
one.

95
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:43,840
This was the only one included in the
pension fund.

96
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:47,180
It is at the moment being run as a
country house hotel.

97
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,760
Oh, when can we see it? Well, as soon as
you wish.

98
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:53,540
It's in the village of Great Pender.

99
00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:54,860
Oh, where's that?

100
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,820
Well, it's not very close to London.

101
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,980
Perhaps you care to stay the night?

102
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:00,740
Sounds a good idea to me.

103
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:05,700
Miss Prescott, get on to Millstone Manor
at once and make the arrangements.

104
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:11,760
I think you all know the manager,
Cuthbert Rumbo. Oh, God.

105
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:30,320
There it is, Millstone Manor. Oh, look,
50 cats.

106
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,960
You don't get semi -detached manor
houses.

107
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,760
Oh, it looks quite nice.

108
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:53,820
Mr. Hubbard.

109
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,760
Have you got change for five pounds?

110
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000
I expect so.

111
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,420
In case you can pay for the cab.

112
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:10,540
Mr. Humphreys, would you hold my pussy
while I... It's been very quiet.

113
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,260
The vet gave me a tranquilizer for her.

114
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,820
Give it a mop it down.

115
00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:28,670
Nice to see you all. Welcome to
Millstone Manor. In which we understand

116
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,850
pension fund is firmly entrenched.

117
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:32,450
This is so good.

118
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,790
Here, look.

119
00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:39,750
Built in 1576.

120
00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:41,129
Oh, yes.

121
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,590
I hope the beds are aired.

122
00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:48,230
Oh, well.

123
00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:50,290
At least it's a bit warmer in here.

124
00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:53,050
Did you notice that funny smell out
there?

125
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:57,350
That has probably come from the home
farm which forms part of the property.

126
00:07:57,670 --> 00:07:59,970
Oh, but I love the smell of the
countryside.

127
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,590
It brings back so many happy childhood
memories.

128
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:09,510
During the war, you know, I was
evacuated to a farm in Diverton, in

129
00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:10,670
thought you drove an ambulance.

130
00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,030
The war went on quite a long time.

131
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:17,270
I was evacuated with the Barley Road
Mixed Infants.

132
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,490
The school bully swapped all our labels
round.

133
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,240
until well after D -Day I was known as
Gladys Wainwright.

134
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:28,840
I still get a funny turn every time I
see a Jim Slope.

135
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,679
So does Captain Peacock, and he was the
desert rat.

136
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,299
Mr Rumble, do you think we could have a
porter to take our cases up to our

137
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:41,980
rooms? Well, we are a bit short of staff
at the moment.

138
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,219
How short?

139
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:46,040
Well, I gather them all round the way I
usually do.

140
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:50,170
told them I was in charge, explained how
I wanted the place to be run, outlined

141
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:54,590
one or two changes I had in mind, and
conveyed to them in no uncertain terms

142
00:08:54,590 --> 00:08:58,070
that if they didn't toe the line, they
could leave. And what happened?

143
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,330
They left.

144
00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:03,250
Oh, that's not entirely true. We still
have an assistant cook.

145
00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:07,590
Oh, it's good to know, Mr. Rumble, that
you've lost none of your qualities of

146
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:11,310
leadership. But how's the place going to
make any money if you've got rid of

147
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:12,299
everybody?

148
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,800
Oh, I've advertised locally. I'm sure
we'll be able to fill the vacant posts.

149
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:17,700
Excuse me, Mr. Rumble.

150
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,840
Might I have a word? Pay attention,
everybody.

151
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:25,940
This is the gentleman who runs the home
farm for a really good, loyal country

152
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:26,940
chap, Mr.

153
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:31,420
Moulterd. M -O -U -L -T -E -R -D.

154
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,500
Moulterd.

155
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,220
How's it going?

156
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,540
Well, it's just good to see that
somebody hasn't left the staff.

157
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,900
Oh, no, of course not.

158
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,860
Mr. Moulton has been here for years.

159
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,620
Yeah, there have been Moulton's in this
village for 200 years.

160
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,400
Quite a tourist attraction.

161
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:55,020
What I want to know, Mr. Rumbles, is
about the hens.

162
00:09:55,340 --> 00:10:00,340
Ah, so we've got hens, have we? Oh, yes,
yes. They were all cooped up in a small

163
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:04,500
hen house. I thought we'd have a much
better chance of selling the eggs if we

164
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,940
could advertise them as free range.

165
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:11,380
Well, I've done exactly as you said, Mr.
Rumbles. I opened the door. to the hen

166
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:14,960
house, let them all out, and they all
buggered off.

167
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:19,080
Please, Mr. Moulter, not in front of the
ladies.

168
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:22,820
Who's going to help me round them up?
That's what I want to know.

169
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,880
Oh, I'm sure we'll find some willing
hands.

170
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,780
Well, shall we all help Mr.

171
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:30,100
Moulter to recover the hens? After all,
they're ours.

172
00:10:30,540 --> 00:10:31,540
Why not?

173
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,260
Good thing Muck never hurt nobody.

174
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,380
I don't like the way that goat's looking
at me.

175
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,620
I don't suppose he likes the way you'm
looking at him.

176
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,700
Where do the hens live?

177
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,680
There's a hen house over there.

178
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,400
Oh, look, that's detached and all.

179
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,960
How do we persuade the hens to return to
their living quarters?

180
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,500
Well, we'll form a semicircle and shoo
them.

181
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,819
Go on. Shoot.

182
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:19,060
He knows all the technical terms.

183
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,360
Come on. Shoot.

184
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,540
Shoot. Shoot.

185
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,100
Shoot.

186
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:24,960
Shoot. Shoot.

187
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,100
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

188
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,640
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

189
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,840
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

190
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:32,760
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

191
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:32,999
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

192
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,260
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

193
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:34,739
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot.

194
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:35,980
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

195
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:36,560
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

196
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:36,560
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

197
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:36,859
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

198
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:37,860
Shoot. Shoot.

199
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,920
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

200
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,180
Shoot.

201
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:46,080
Shoot More brightly coloured and its
comb stands up.

202
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,460
Oh, fancy.

203
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,240
It's all going on in nature, isn't it?

204
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:51,860
Now, listen.

205
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:57,260
If we were to catch the cockerel and put
it in the hen house, would that not

206
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,320
attract the hens?

207
00:11:58,580 --> 00:11:59,580
No.

208
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,140
He's been round them already once today.

209
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:06,800
Oh, look. There's another cockerel over
there.

210
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,400
Oh, that's George.

211
00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:11,020
He's not interested in them.

212
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,340
They ain't interested in him.

213
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,360
It shouldn't stand like that.

214
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:21,460
I'll get it for you.

215
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:31,840
Put your arm round me and hold your leg
up.

216
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,380
Don't try and get down no further.

217
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,880
Could you get up any higher?

218
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,320
I know.

219
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,150
Hold it up backwards.

220
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:46,509
Oh, Mr.

221
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:49,550
Humphreys, would you hold my hand and
steady me?

222
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:52,070
That's better.

223
00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:57,790
So we see the mare.

224
00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:03,270
I grab her, shove it between me legs,
and she can't move.

225
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:05,030
Very effective, I'm sure.

226
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:12,050
Then I gets me hammer out, gives her a
few good bangs, and I can gallop her

227
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,050
anywhere.

228
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:14,630
Brace yourself, Mrs. Smith.

229
00:13:14,930 --> 00:13:17,110
You're a son of a soy, isn't he?

230
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:18,950
You're giving me hay fever.

231
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:22,550
What on earth was that?

232
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:27,430
That's old Betsy. Must be something the
matter with her. We'd better go and see.

233
00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:34,890
As you see, Captain Peacock, we're
completely self -sufficient here. We

234
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:35,769
own cows.

235
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,510
Really? How big is the herd?

236
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:38,950
Two.

237
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,060
What's the matter, me old darling?

238
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,720
She want milking.

239
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,600
He speaks the language.

240
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,080
What did you say a curler's for?

241
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,720
Oh, he shoves them on the teats.

242
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:05,060
And he presses the switch and it milks
them.

243
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:11,300
Mind you, old Betsy here don't like it.
She likes it bound by hand.

244
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:13,720
You do get a better result with a phone.

245
00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:16,940
She needs milking now.

246
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,520
Sorry, Betsy, I can't get down that far.

247
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,300
You'll have to wait till Mavis gets back
from the village.

248
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:25,820
And who is Mavis?

249
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,520
Oh, Mr. Moulton's daughter. She helps on
the farm and about the house.

250
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:32,040
Where is that dratted girl?

251
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:38,340
Oh, I can't handle it any longer. Miss
Browns, hold me hat and pass me that

252
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:39,740
stool. Here.

253
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:41,759
Thank you.

254
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,600
Mr. Humphrey's bucket.

255
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,800
Mrs. Slocum, I had no idea you could do
that sort of thing.

256
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,420
Well, if the knack you know, I was
evacuated during the war.

257
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,880
Wait a minute.

258
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:04,900
I know you.

259
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:08,620
We was on a farm together in Timberland.

260
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,720
That's right, Mrs. Slocum. You was
evacuated when you were a little child.

261
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,440
Little child?

262
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:18,280
She was a great big walloping land girl.

263
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,080
Well, I was a land girl later on.

264
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,750
You're Rachel Yiggle.

265
00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:28,150
I was a young rat catcher.

266
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:34,770
Many's the time we rolled around in the
hayloft when I was laying the bait.

267
00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:36,910
You're quite mistaken, Morris.

268
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:38,650
Whatever your name was.

269
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,270
It's gone very organic at this point.

270
00:15:56,250 --> 00:16:00,830
Charming you look. Oh, thank you. I
always think if you dress nice, you can

271
00:16:00,830 --> 00:16:01,830
-knob with anybody.

272
00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:05,510
Oh, where are the other hotel guests?

273
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:10,050
Well, fortunately, we don't expect any
until the weekend, which gives us a

274
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,530
chance to sort out the staff problem.

275
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:14,490
Has anyone replied to your advert?

276
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:15,810
I haven't yet.

277
00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,390
Miss Ludlock?

278
00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:19,990
Yes? You've met Miss Ludlock, of course.

279
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,670
When did she get here?

280
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:25,990
She came down late last night astride
her powerful Kawasaki.

281
00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:28,650
What exactly is that, may I ask?

282
00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:32,150
It's a very large, terrifically fast
motorbike.

283
00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:37,670
Indeed. Young Mr. Grace used to love
putting on his crash helmet and climbing

284
00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:38,670
behind him.

285
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:42,550
What a gallant old gentleman he was.

286
00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:45,250
I'm sure Miss Lovelock has many a tale
to tell.

287
00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:47,570
I think we're only scratching the
surface.

288
00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:50,750
Is she going to be alone?

289
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,690
Young Mr. Grace left me the horses in
his will.

290
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,950
They're all stabled here. I live above.

291
00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:59,310
Mr. Grace converted the groom's quarters
for me.

292
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:04,430
Oh, yes, by the way, Miss Lovelock, has
anyone applied for a position on the

293
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:07,810
start? I've no idea, darling. Why don't
you check the answering machine?

294
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,349
She's a bit bolshy, isn't she?

295
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:13,710
Well, we haven't quite clarified her
position.

296
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,670
No? I bet Mr. Grace clarified it.

297
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:30,869
It's stuck.

298
00:17:30,870 --> 00:17:33,230
Will somebody get me out of here,
please?

299
00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:35,750
Press the emergency button.

300
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:37,570
I have done your job.

301
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:39,330
Captain Peacock.

302
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:41,170
Well,

303
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:48,490
how am I going to get down from here?

304
00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:50,550
Take my hand, Mrs. Logan.

305
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,070
Oh, put it away.

306
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,970
Oh, Captain Peacock.

307
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:01,360
Mr. Blumble, avert your eyes, please.

308
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,600
Miss Brahms, would you give me some
assistance?

309
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:09,480
Oh, well, pull your skirt out and slide
out on your bum.

310
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,280
Oh, oh, how ignominious.

311
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:18,780
All clear.

312
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:23,180
You know, I just love those big old
baths.

313
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:28,090
I had so much fun. much water. When I
pulled the plug out, I got caught up in

314
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:29,090
the vortex.

315
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:31,990
I had to fight for me life.

316
00:18:32,890 --> 00:18:34,710
Do you know, I'm dying for a drink.

317
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:36,430
Well, there is a bar.

318
00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:40,490
I'm afraid the barman's left with the
rest of the staff. Help yourselves.

319
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,050
Allow me.

320
00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,670
What will it be, Miss Browns?

321
00:18:44,010 --> 00:18:46,970
Oh, um, I'll have a gin and a tonic,
please.

322
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,670
And I'll have the same, but not too much
tonic.

323
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:52,570
I'll have a gin and it.

324
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:53,910
What is it?

325
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,560
Do you know, I never found out.

326
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,080
Could you make a pina colada?

327
00:18:58,460 --> 00:18:59,460
I could try.

328
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,540
Are you up to a Harvey Wall banner?

329
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,220
I think that's more to Mr Humphrey's
line of country.

330
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,700
Now, you've all met Miss Lovelock, of
course. Yeah.

331
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,240
She's got the groom's quarter.

332
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,600
I've never seen a groom's quarter.

333
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:18,020
Well, I'm glad you're all here, because
there are one or two things I want to

334
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:18,939
discuss with you.

335
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,020
Are you free, Captain Peacock? I shall
be, in a couple of shakes.

336
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,780
Perhaps you'd all like to sit down.

337
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:28,040
We're not in the store now, are we? This
is all quite informal.

338
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,840
Are you free, Mr Humphreys? I'm free.

339
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,520
I know these cushions haven't been
puffed up for many a year.

340
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:41,200
Well, now, I've had a fax from Mr Thorpe
with a final figure on the income from

341
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,240
the pension fund investments.

342
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,720
Oh, thanks. That's exciting.

343
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,220
Thank you, Stephen.

344
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,100
Thank you.

345
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,480
Companies, it should amount to quite a
few thousand.

346
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,660
Yes, the final figure is 243.

347
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,700
Oh, 243 ,000 pounds.

348
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,660
Oh, that's about 40 ,000 each.

349
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:09,260
No, 243 pounds for each of us. Per week?

350
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,719
Per month.

351
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,280
Does that include Miss Loveless?

352
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,640
Of course.

353
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,220
Well, would she come to deserve it?

354
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,480
I don't think you can go into that, Mrs.
Loveless.

355
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:19,260
The whole thing's a disgrace.

356
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,740
It's about 60 pounds a week each.

357
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:28,000
And after all them years of having it,
um, subtracted from our wages... Miss

358
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,380
Bronze, we have been diddled, and I am
unanimous in that.

359
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,960
I was going to buy my mother a new
washing machine. Now she'll have to

360
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,340
for a pair of rubber gloves and a packet
of purses.

361
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:43,220
Well, I suggest we talk it over over
dinner. That is, if we're going to get

362
00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:46,980
dinner. Oh, yes, yes, I've arranged for
that. Are you free to bang the gong, Mr

363
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:48,600
Humphreys? Certainly, Mr Rumble.

364
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,300
Would you like me to start slowly and
build up to a crescendo?

365
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,620
Or would you prefer a J. Arthur rank?

366
00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,840
Provided they can hear you in the
kitchen, I don't mind what you do.

367
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,700
Oh, for heaven's sake, Mr. Humphries,
give it to me.

368
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,300
I'm absolutely starving.

369
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,140
Where is the kitchen?

370
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,860
Right the other side of the dining room.

371
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,060
Right.

372
00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:17,180
That should do it. Fire, fire!

373
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,680
Fire, fire, fire!

374
00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:23,830
All right, Mrs. Slocum was only banging
the gong for dinner.

375
00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:25,630
Oh, you mustn't touch that.

376
00:21:25,970 --> 00:21:27,510
That's the fire alarm.

377
00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:32,850
And why exactly have we got a large red
bell over the reception desk marked

378
00:21:32,850 --> 00:21:34,810
fire? Well, that don't work.

379
00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:36,530
That's electric.

380
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:41,410
Because the short circuit in that will
cause the last fire.

381
00:21:41,930 --> 00:21:45,110
Get out of the way, Dad. I've got their
dinner.

382
00:21:46,530 --> 00:21:50,310
Well, when you...

383
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:54,000
Madam, don't forget the goat.

384
00:21:55,700 --> 00:22:00,160
This is Mavis Moulthard, our willing
pair of hands.

385
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,260
Oh, they're a bit muddy at the moment.

386
00:22:02,540 --> 00:22:05,180
I've just been unbonging the drain in
the cow shed.

387
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,380
What are all these little boxes?

388
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,700
Oh, I've just heated them up in the
microwave.

389
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,440
Take away tandoori chicken and chips.

390
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:19,260
Do you mean I've got dressed up like
this for take away tandoori?

391
00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:22,420
Are you not partaking, Miss Lovelock?

392
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,920
Certainly not, darling.

393
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,040
Now, I have some caviar and smoked
salmon in my fridge.

394
00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:29,900
That'll be £1 .35 each.

395
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,920
Take it out of the till.

396
00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:34,520
We haven't put anything in the till.

397
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,440
I'll have to have the money.

398
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,700
I borrowed it from Dad, and if I go on
without it, he'll give me the strap.

399
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:42,259
I see.

400
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,600
Will he give you the strap on the hand
or on the...

401
00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:51,240
I think in the circumstances, perhaps
we'd better divvy up. Oh, very well.

402
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,680
you got change for £5? No, Captain
Peacock. I think so.

403
00:22:53,980 --> 00:22:55,440
Well, you can pay for mine.

404
00:22:57,460 --> 00:23:00,240
Now, listen, everybody. I've been
thinking.

405
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:07,380
Now, this is our place, and £60 a week
will go nowhere in London, but it

406
00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:10,360
wouldn't be too bad if we lived here,
rent -free.

407
00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:11,799
That's right.

408
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,380
We could have free milk and free eggs.
Yes, we could grow our own vegetables.

409
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,000
And on top of that, any profit we could
make out of this hotel.

410
00:23:19,620 --> 00:23:21,220
What do you think, Captain Peacock?

411
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,640
I vote we sleep on it.

412
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,040
Fat chance of that after 18 votes.

413
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:30,000
Sorry to barge in while you've got your
snouts in the top.

414
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,720
There's been a bit of commotion at the
front.

415
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,380
Oh, it sounds like tittles.

416
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,700
Do you think somebody should go to her
assistance?

417
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,020
Oh, this sort of thing is quite normal.
Animals always take a day or two to get

418
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:48,020
used to each other.

419
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,100
Oh, will somebody come and help me,
please?

420
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:54,820
That naughty goat has got hold of my
pussy and put that goat...

421
00:23:54,820 --> 00:23:59,660
There you are, Tiddles.

422
00:24:00,300 --> 00:24:02,680
There's your little hot water bottle.

423
00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:05,780
Mummy's got a big one.

424
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:11,120
Now, you try...

425
00:24:12,170 --> 00:24:16,910
and forget all about that naughty old G
-O -A -T.

426
00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:21,930
I'll just look under the bed to see if
there's a man there.

427
00:24:25,150 --> 00:24:27,450
Oh, well, better luck next time.

428
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:31,170
Who's there?

429
00:24:31,230 --> 00:24:33,570
It's me, Cuthbert. Can I come in?

430
00:24:33,770 --> 00:24:36,690
Mr. Brumbo, where am I in my night
attire?

431
00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:38,010
So am I.

432
00:24:38,470 --> 00:24:40,690
What I have in mind won't take a moment.

433
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,520
Well, that does narrow down the
possibility.

434
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,200
Well, you may come in.

435
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,220
Are you comfortable, Mrs. Flockham? This
is the housekeeper's room.

436
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:56,280
Well, yes, it's quite cosy.

437
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,820
But why can't we have some proper hotel
rooms?

438
00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:04,640
When our guests come, we'll need the
sheets. We don't have any more until we

439
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,640
the laundry bill.

440
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,500
You have got a wet mattress.

441
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:09,200
Has it just happened?

442
00:25:16,590 --> 00:25:19,810
Perhaps Mrs. Slocum wouldn't mind you
sharing until we can get it fixed.

443
00:25:20,170 --> 00:25:25,950
Oh, would you, Mrs. Slocum? Well, I'm
usually unaccompanied in the bedroom.

444
00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:31,010
However, seeing as how we've known each
other for such a long time, and it is an

445
00:25:31,010 --> 00:25:33,290
emergency, I will concede.

446
00:25:33,550 --> 00:25:35,790
Oh, thanks, Mrs. Slocum. I've got the
own bottle.

447
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:38,610
Well, I'll see you in the morning.

448
00:25:38,950 --> 00:25:39,849
Good night.

449
00:25:39,850 --> 00:25:40,890
Good night, Mr. Rumbold.

450
00:25:42,050 --> 00:25:47,540
To be truthful, Miss Brahms, I'm quite
glad you're here. I think we're safer

451
00:25:47,540 --> 00:25:49,340
together with him prowling round.

452
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:53,860
Yes. He does have a rather unfulfilled
look about him, doesn't he?

453
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,040
Well, he's not going to get topped up by
me.

454
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:04,680
Oh, I'm sorry to startle you. I was just
investigating where this door led.

455
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:06,200
Well, now you know.

456
00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:09,940
I'm next door in the head waiter's room.

457
00:26:10,250 --> 00:26:14,510
There's no lock, so would you be good
enough to knock when you come in, as I

458
00:26:14,510 --> 00:26:17,850
usually do my Jane Fonda exercise
routine before I die?

459
00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:21,910
We didn't have it in mind to disturb
you, Captain Peacock.

460
00:26:22,150 --> 00:26:24,790
Yeah, you'd better bung up the keyhole
in case we get tempted.

461
00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:27,230
Right.

462
00:26:29,870 --> 00:26:30,870
Hello,

463
00:26:33,390 --> 00:26:34,390
operator.

464
00:26:34,710 --> 00:26:36,810
I'm having a bit of difficulty with my
mother.

465
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:40,250
No, I don't want the child helpline. No.

466
00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:43,310
No, it's the phone,

467
00:26:45,670 --> 00:26:48,390
you see. Well, I dialed it and it isn't
working.

468
00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:52,110
No, no, not my mother isn't working.
It's the telephone.

469
00:26:53,290 --> 00:26:57,470
Oh, would you? Yes. The number is 722
-1708.

470
00:26:58,290 --> 00:26:59,290
Thank you.

471
00:26:59,310 --> 00:27:00,450
And you'll call me back.

472
00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:01,910
You're very kind.

473
00:27:02,610 --> 00:27:04,470
My, it's nippy out there.

474
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,400
It's not a song, though.

475
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:17,700
I'm very glad to hear it.

476
00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:20,160
Are you going to be the new chef?

477
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:21,800
I don't think so.

478
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,380
Oh, never mind then. Shove over.

479
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,480
Oh, nice pajamas.

480
00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:31,780
Thank you.

481
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,800
There's been a lot of excitement about
here today, hasn't there?

482
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,640
There's a lot more to come, by the look
of it.

483
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,160
Excuse me.

484
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,520
Do you think I could ask you a question?
Does your father know you're here?

485
00:27:45,010 --> 00:27:49,010
Uh, no, he don't care where I am, long
as I'm out the way.

486
00:27:50,050 --> 00:27:53,070
If he knew you were here, he wouldn't
give you the strap, would he?

487
00:27:53,270 --> 00:27:54,270
Not as a rule.

488
00:27:54,770 --> 00:27:56,370
He wouldn't give me the strap.

489
00:27:57,930 --> 00:27:59,930
Look, you're not going to talk all
night, are you?

490
00:28:00,450 --> 00:28:01,890
I'm not even going to move.

491
00:28:03,910 --> 00:28:06,110
Well, turn the light out. It's on your
side.

492
00:28:09,030 --> 00:28:10,030
Hello?

493
00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:11,970
Oh, hello, Mother. Yes, it's me.

494
00:28:14,350 --> 00:28:16,110
Fine, it's worked out quite well.

495
00:28:17,590 --> 00:28:19,210
Not quite how you'd expect.

496
00:28:21,550 --> 00:28:24,730
No, no, I'm all right. I'm tucked up in
the chef's bed.

497
00:28:26,150 --> 00:28:27,230
No, he's gone.

498
00:28:29,930 --> 00:28:32,870
No, Mother, now, for goodness sake, calm
down.

499
00:28:33,410 --> 00:28:35,250
You've got nothing to worry about.

500
00:28:37,690 --> 00:28:40,870
In fact, you may never have anything to
worry about.